Cover Me Up

For three years now, I have shared my life with Andy. It's the happiest I have ever been, and I had no idea it could be like this.

I was single for a very long time before I met Andy, and I was sort of resigned to it. I mean, I wanted to meet somebody, but I also felt okay with the idea that it might not work out that way. I even appreciated the adventures I had as things that would be harder to do if I had a partner to consider. And I was lucky and grateful to have truly close friendships and a very supportive family including very awesome nieces. Really, my life was not bad.

I always knew that if I were to meet someone, it would be imperative that he be smart, interesting, and have great taste in the things that matter to me, especially in music. He had to also, of course, share the same kind of values and not be a misogynist homophobe or something, and he had to treat people with decency. But I guess I thought most of the other things were negotiable. Mostly, I imagined ending up with someone who was kind of sullen, or reserved, or hated being out embracing the world and the people that I love in it. Or a dog person. Because who gets everything, right?

ME! I DO!

I'm not saying Andy's perfect, but he truly is perfect for me. After maybe three tentative dates we were both all in. He's felt familiar and it has been easy almost from the beginning.

Whenever we are together, Andy makes me feel beautiful and valued. He always let me know how glad he is to be in my company, how enriched his life is because I'm in it. We laugh together and talk closely and there is never anything I hold back. We love to spend time alone together and we also love to spend time together with the other people we love. We love to drive to little towns in Ontario and find out where the best breakfasts and butter tarts are. We love to explore neighbourhoods within the city we call home and trails on the outskirts of towns we've never heard of. But really, anything we do together is fun because we are doing it together. I hope I never take for granted how lucky I am, how good and kind and loving and wonderful this man I get to be with is.

Sometimes we talk about how we met at exactly the right time in our lives. How if I had met Andy before, he would have seemed bitter and angry with the world. And if he had known me in my drinking days I would have been sloppy and annoying and aimless. It is hard for either of us to imagine the other like that.

Andy and I discovered Jason Isbell's album together one Sunday afternoon during our first year together. It all resonates with me - such a great recovery album.

"Cover Me Up" always reminds me of Andy - how vulnerable and loving he is and makes me and how this is the brilliant and unexpected reward for putting in that time and effort to grow and become the people we know each other to be.

Happy 3rd Anniversary, Andy. You are the love of my life. Every day I am so grateful I get to share this life with you. These little words don't do us justice of course, but you know what I mean.

 Cover Me Up - Jason Isbell

A heart on the run keeps a hand on the gun

You can't trust anyone
I was so sure what I needed was more
Tried to shoot out the sun
Days when we raged, we flew off the page
Such damage was done
But I made it through, 'cause somebody knew
I was meant for someone

So girl, leave your boots by the bed
We ain't leaving this room
Till someone needs medical help
Or the magnolias bloom
It's cold in this house and I ain't going out to chop wood
So cover me up and know you're enough
To use me for good

 

Put your faith to the test when I tore off your dress
In Richmond on high
But I sobered up and I swore off that stuff
Forever this time
And the old lover's sing
“I thought it'd be me who helped him get home”
But home was a dream
One I'd never seen till you came along

 

So girl hang your dress up to dry 

We ain't leavin' this room

Til Percy Priest breaks open wide
And the river runs through

Carries this house on the stones like a piece of drift wood

Cover me up and know you're enough to use me for good